Patience

It's much more than waiting in line with a cool temper. Now a days everything is about being on-demand, at your fingertips, fast, and easy. We live in a world obsessed with instant gratification. I think everyone understands when I say that it's hard to be patient, and I don't mean patient about the old lady in front of you who drives like she has nothing in the world to do but drive slowly. I mean true patience. Like when you're poor, surviving off prayers and faith, wondering what the future holds because you don't think you can take much more of where you're at in life. Or like when you pray for an answer, but never seem to get one. Or when you are in school working your tail off, but still have yet to see some of the work pay off, while others around you are thriving. Or when you lose a loved one, and you wonder when the ache will disappear. To this day, I still ache for my Grandpa and his sweet voice, even though it's been 7 years since he passed away. I can't listen to his "Impossible Dream" on my ipod without bawling my eyes out (which is why I try to avoid listening to it sometimes).

The fact is, I'm having a hard time being patient right now. I'm so close to finishing school, but so scared of what the future holds for me. Where am I going to get an internship? What if I don't find a job? What if I don't get a job because I want to have a family? What if we can't afford to pay for a family? I want to go 10 years into the future when Daniel and I are both done with school and can actually spend time together. I want answers. I want solutions. I want. Want, want, want.

But this morning I woke up and started thinking about President Uchdtorf's talk on "Continue in Patience." I felt a little better thinking that maybe this is all for our own good. One day we'll look back on these days and think "Wow, we had it pretty good. Those days when things were simple." I looked up Pres. Uchtdorf's talk and this really hit me:

"Patience—the ability to put our desires on hold for a time—is a precious and rare virtue. We want what we want, and we want it now. Therefore, the very idea of patience may seem unpleasant and, at times, bitter.

Nevertheless, without patience, we cannot please God; we cannot become perfect. Indeed, patience is a purifying process that refines understanding, deepens happiness, focuses action, and offers hope for peace."

Isn't that beautiful? He spoke right to my heart this morning. It's always hard when you are going through a particular trial or set of trials to see hope. Or to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I get so selfish, so stuck on my own problems that it makes me sad. Sad, that I would even do such a thing. I have so much to offer if I only would stop being so selfish sometimes. I need to offer words of encouragement. Say thank you, not only to my Heavenly Father for what I have, but to thank those around me who make every day worth living.

How grateful I am to have such inspired leaders! For those who have traveled down the rocky path already and who can look back and help others with their wisdom. I'm grateful that I belong to such a great Church and have a testimony of my Savior, Jesus Christ. I'm grateful for the truth that has been restored. I'm grateful for the scriptures, the Temple, and for eternal families.

So for those of you who are going through a situation that is trying your patience, don't lose hope. Tomorrow is a brighter day, and the future is even brighter. Keep doing your best. Everything will work out. Maybe not how you wanted it to, but better than you imagined.